Blossoming Thought 3: Tips for protecting your micro-moments of connection with your kids
Over the past 8 weeks, while Eli has been in the NICU, I’ve had the best of intentions to get these emails back into your inbox. But between spending the days at the hospital, heading home (which still hard to believe for people who haven’t experienced a NICU journey — yes, you leave your baby at the hospital overnight and somehow are expected to continue with “normal life” outside), trying to be present for our other two daughters, and then, on the nights when wonderful family or friends are able to stay with the girls, heading back to the NICU with my husband for a few more precious hours… life has felt very full.
We come home, snatch a little sleep between overnight alarms to express, then wake up and do it all again the next day.
There have been many things that have slipped....
One thing I’ve been trying hard to hold onto, though, is creating little “micro moments” of connection with my children — and with my husband too.
If you’re not familiar with the term micro-moments, Maggie Dent talks about it beautifully. The idea is that connection doesn’t have to come from the big, grand gestures. It’s the tiny moments that tell our children: “I see you. I’m here. You matter. You are loved.”
Right now, in our house, even those moments sometimes need to be planned.
It means being intentional about being there when the girls get home from school, daycare or activities. Taking a minute to stop, smile, give them a hug, and ask about their day. Starting a little conversation and trying, just for those first few moments, not to focus on the “other stuff” — like the lunchbox that got left at school again, or the missing hat that still hasn’t made its way home from daycare.
Instead, for those few brief moments, I try to simply listen. To hear about their day.
To soak up their stories, their excitement, their energy. Because often, those tiny moments are the ones that matter most.
I know that right now, so many of us are stretched thin. We’re juggling work, finances, the mental load, family life, and all the everyday pressures that come with parenting. If you’re feeling time-poor, overwhelmed or like you’re not doing “enough”, please know you are not alone.
The good news is that connection doesn’t need hours. Sometimes it only takes a minute or two of being fully present.
A few simple micro moments you might like to try:
• Breakfast: Sit or stand with your child while they eat. Even if you’re only taking a couple of sips of your now-cold coffee, pause and be with them. Listen. Chat. Or simply share the quiet.
• School pick-up: Notice how you greet them. A smile, eye contact, a hug, a “I’m so happy to see you” can go such a long way.
• Bedtime: Read a story, share a cuddle, or have a small goodnight ritual that is just yours. Even a few minutes of calm, connected attention can help fill your child’s cup.
• In-between moments: Sitting together in the car, hanging washing out together, walking into school, brushing hair, packing lunchboxes. Connection doesn’t always happen in the “special” moments — often it’s built in the ordinary ones.
Really, what matters most is that for that moment, however brief, your child can feel that you are truly there with them.
Because from one time-poor parent to another — those little moments count more than we realise.